This October is odd for me.
You see, the last several years I’ve taken part in a writing challenge with thousands upon thousands of fellow writers. The goal is always to inform others on a topic we’re passionate about, while also I spring ourselves into consistent and meaningful writing.
I’ll be honest. This year has been brutal. To the point that I just didn’t have it in me to even attempt writing 31 days straight. Just the thought exhausts this already over – exhausted gal.
It’s not something I’ve talked about too much on here, mainly because the exhaustion would steal my attempts. When it didnt, the words wouldn’t come. Even this post has been written over the course of several days.
Several years back, my doctor suspected I had PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). You can read up on it here. The most I knew I about it was that it explained my cycle irregularity, weight issues and could interfere with getting, and staying, pregnant.
A few weeks later I was back in her office, pregnant. Hesitant to be excited. After all, I was coming off a recent miscarriage and a few of my friends who had pcos had miscarried several times.
With that first appointment, any further testing/thought of pcos went out the window. As you know, that pregnancy lead to us now having this amazing 2 year old little boy. An unexpected surprise that still unfolds little by little each day.
Fast forward to the start of this year. Our guy had just turned two. A few times a month, about 2-4 times a day for a couple days at a time, I found myself wincing in pain. Each month the pain would get a little more severe and last a little longer.
In June, I was officially diagnosed with PCOS. Since then, we have been doing some trial and error to see if we can get the symptoms under control. Nothing has helped so far.
The next step is proving harder than expected. Changing my eating habits and exercising more. I’ve done it before, I know I can do it again. I just need to act on the knowledge I already have.
Here’s a few things I have learned over the last 9 months or so:
-PCOS isn’t just about fertility. It’s an endocrine disorder.
-The root cause is a hormone imbalance.
-I have PCOS, it is not who I am.
-Talking to others who have been there helps more than anything.
-Simply talking through it with trusted friends helps bring peace.
-this hormonal imbalance has a role in every single part of my life, whether I want it to or not.
This post isn’t a woe-is-me or sympathy plea. It is simply an explanation of what’s going on with me. It’s a big insight into why I haven’t been writing as I normally would.
So if you happen to see me and I’m not my usual self, I ask for grace and understanding. I have this hope though: