When we first started delving into this book. I knew it was going to be big. I’ve been on a journey to overcoming labels and that is exactly what the book is enabling us to do. Instead of living under the all too familiar labels we so often succumb to, we are learning to relabel ourselves with descriptions that could only come from our Majestic Creator.
This weeks focus is taking off the “damaged goods” label that we have all had at one point in time or another and seeing ourselves as the “trophy of grace” God made us to be. Overcoming our past. The mistakes we’ve made. The bruises, wounds and scars left by others passing through. The circumstantial, relational and socioeconomic brokenness we tend to identify with.
Growing up I was the girl who always minded my own business. I kept everything to myself. The good, the bad, and most importantly, the ugly. I convinced myself that, while I keeping everyone at an arms reach, I was doing okay. That I could manage all on my own.
Some days I can still hear the faint whispers of degrading remarks made by someone who was supposed to love, support, and guide into the woman I was made to be. Rather, all I remember from that period of my life is the tone of never bring able to succeed, being too out-of-shape, and hearing the repetitive message of “no one will ever love you if…” Very few outside of the house had any inkling on the overall atmosphere going on inside.
Thankfully, I had already been a believer for a few years by the time it all started. I had a church family who were telling me the exact opposite. However, when the negative input out weighs the positive 5 days to 2, it’s had to truly see yourself in the positive ways.
I am convinced that I was called to follow Him at the age of 9 to help protect my heart and soul from being consumed by these lies from the ages of 13 to almost 18. You see, my soul was already occupied by the Holy Spirit, there was no room for the lies to dwell in the depths of my life.
I can picture the battle that was going on within me. The lies of failure, inadequacy, fear, and hopeless relentlessly trying to defeat me. Their strength, all though painful, couldn’t penetrate the shield already living within me. The force within me was greater than those arrows of lies, its greater still than the punches of life, and it will be for as long as I’m living. This force field-if you will-is comprised of the Truth and what He made me to be. Such things as love, strength, enough, worthy, beautiful, and so many more. That list will never end.
I just have to choose to believe His words concerning me. Not the words of a broken, fallen human. I’ll be the first to admit, that I fail at doing this, more than I care to admit. Every day is still a battle. In this life, the small battles are where we find the strength to conquer the wars.
Every day I claim a new identity for myself. Every day I am learning to grasp that I am no longer damaged goods, but rather I am a trophy of grace.