…of the dream
This was the view out of my back door a couple days ago. This is the primary reason I have yet to leave the house since Saturday. This is how the taste became a reality.
Since the beginning of my journey into motherhood, I’ve had this dream infused into my heart. One that I so badly long for that it’s brought pain, tears and a couple fights. Dreams of being at home, all the time, taking care of my son. Being the one to see all his firsts.
Unfortunately, that dream has not become a reality. There have been times in the past year that I have been tempted to throw all caution into the wind and just do it. Then the mail comes.
But since this snowpocalypse, as it’s lovingly been called, I have gotten a 7 day mini-vacation. A look into what
this dream would look like. I’ve seen steps. I’ve seen 3 ft spaces crossed (twice). I’ve heard nigh nigh (new phrase) countless times. I’ve watched as he’s played with his Christmas blessings and momma’s creations.
Now, because it’s been a break from work, and not a permanent shift, I know I haven’t gotten the full idea of what it’d be like to be a full time stay at home mommy. Instead of feeling obligated to do chores around the house, I rested!!! I know one friend who’s proud of that.
I took this time, began the year out with my one year bible, crocheting, movie days with my boy(s), blogging (finally broke the block, now it won’t stop flowing, who am I to complain?)
While this dream is still a good distance off, I fully believe that I will be able to take steps to get there. First, pay off some bills, start saving. Second, cut back at work by a day or two. Third, continue saving. Fourth, cultivate a passion for house keeping (those of you who know me, know I either HATE cleaning or go totally OCD to the point that it takes me days to clean one room). Fifth, continue alternating between saving, paying off bills and cutting back at work.
This may take a year, two or more, but I believe that it will be a reality one day. So long as it’s a calling on my life, the Writer of my story will always lead me to the perfect scenario to get us there.