This is a subject that comes up here fairly frequently. That’s probably because it’s a journey that seems to never end for me.
I often find myself asking the question “who am I?”
That’s not just any generic question. It’s asking: who am I outside of my work? Who am I beside a wife? Who am I apart from mommy? Who am I outside of my friends? It’s asking, deep down, in the depths of me who was I created to be?
If I went based off everything that I’ve been told/known from my past some of them would include:
-a girl abused mentally and physically by a stepfather.
-a girl who could have made camouflaging a professional sport. That meaning I knew what each person that I was/should be and I became really good at playing each part.
-a daughter of a forever recovering alcoholic. That alcoholism lead to a consequence that still effects him, and us today.
-an awkwardly shy girl.
-the forgotten one
-the loner—or at least I appear to be.
These were the identities I claimed. The identities that I wore mostly out of obligation. Others were placed upon me, unwillingly. Few proudly.
I have news friends! These titles don’t have to define me. That list is not who I am.
That list is who Satan wants me to believe that I am. Sadly, I still into those traps. More often than I like to admit most times.
With each day, there’s a new chance, a new challenge. Today, am I going to walk in the shadows of the yesterday’s that haunt me? Or am I going to bask in the Son who has claimed me as His? Because really, that all relies on me, no one and nothing else.
Because of Him:
-I am now accepted
-I am seen
-I overcome daily
-I am learning to be me.
I am still on this journey. I still see nothing but a blank page when someone randomly asks me who I am, but I am not compelled to be or do anything that I don’t feel is right or that I’m not called to do.
In that, I find the sweetest freedom one could ask for.