I’ve been told by many throughout my life that I’m a forgiving person. If those people had only known the inner struggle that I went through day in and out. Plus in a household that was dominated by an unstable personality, what other choice does one have but to at least “grant” forgiveness and then “move on” from all the pain caused by the instability?
While acting forgiving came easily, I’m discovering more and more that it was just another mask I was wearing. After all I’ve been fully convinced that forgiving (or at least the portrayment of) is what she, the good girl, would do.
We all have this image in our head of who/what the perfect Christian looks like. For me she: loves perfectly, ALWAYS forgives, serves others selflessly-consistently-faithfully, works while maintaining a spotless home, forgives easily and often, hosting frequent Bible studies, and on and on.
Maybe for you she looks like this too, maybe she looks completely different. That’s okay because we’re not all the same. We’re not meant to be the same.
For me, the shift in my life, the area of focus He’s honed in on is the forgiveness in my heart–or lack there of. This realization is a hard one for me because I never, never, never saw this area that I had issues in.
Not only had I convinced everyone else that I was a forgiving person, I had convinced myself too.
When did we get so good at pretending to the point that even we believe the act?
Can I challenge us today? Is there an area God’s asking us to identify as less-than-stellar and then allow Him to really work on it. Allow Him the power to remold our mind into a mind like his? To teach you to ____________ just as He would?
If there is, friend, might I prompt you to spend some time talking WITH Him about it?
If you need someone to walk the road with you, please don’t hesitate to ask. You can reach me by e-mail (firstname.lastname@example.org), here, or here. If you want a community to connect with and to join us imperfect followers in pursuit of Him, I encourage you to jump over here and join us.
Let me remind you friend, no matter what your struggle, you are not alone. That you are loved and deserve to be loved. That you can find grace and acceptance.
Peace be with you friends.