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Limitless Search

Thank you so much for being patient these past few weeks! It’s been a whirlwind time.

How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, Having sorrow in my heart all the day? How long will my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O LORD my God; Enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death, And my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” And my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken. But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, Because He has dealt bountifully with me. Psalm 13:1-6

Oh, how this verse fits with all that’s been going on. Can I tell you the story? The whole story? With God’s line through this and all? Pretty please hang with me through this? It’s amazing to watch Him work his magic through this.

For the past two months I’ve felt the first few verses deep within my heart. Although, hadn’t really “seen” these verses until a friend gave them to me Saturday night. I know I’ve read them before, but I didn’t actually “see” them before.

You see, in February my benefits started up through work, before that, January contained a miscarriage and I hadn’t been able to get checked to make sure everything was in the clear there. So I set up two appointments. One for the (as my sister calls it) awkward doctor, and the other for a regular physician. Little did I know the roller coaster that I had jumped on. The OB ran blood tests, for a few different reasons she wanted to check some things out. She asked me to come back in 2 weeks for the results. Okay, cool.

Little did I know that those two weeks were going to be major attack by Satan. I have been cursed blessed with an analytical mind. I think, re-think, and over-think everything, especially something big like this. So I began to prepare myself for the worst, like I typically do.

It’s about this time that He introduces me to a true kindred spirit. We were fast friends, which never happens, for either of us. When we first started chatting, we would have never expected what it has come to. We are miles apart physically, but couldn’t be closer together spiritually. I have already come to love her so.

Besides that friendship taking root, the two weeks between appointments was grueling. I was told by my regular physician that besides the extra weight, I was in perfect health…pending the results to the blood tests. Woo. So not only was I just waiting for the blood tests, those stinking tests had my “perfect” health (physically anyway) hanging with them too.

So that day comes. The hubs (he didn’t understand why I wanted him there, but gracefully came with me just because I asked) and I go to get the results. The doctor comes in the room, she said everything looked good (it would have been great had she stopped there) but with the irregularity, it looks like we’re looking into poly cystic ovarian syndrom (PCOS). She set up an ultra sound for the end of May to determine for sure.

But I don’t need the ultra sound to tell me it’s true. As soon as it was stated, my spirit testified to it’s validity. So while some think I’m jumping the gun, I can firmly believe that I’m really not. The ultrasound in May? I’m looking at it as the tool to tell me the level/severity of it.

The doctor walked out of the room and tears rolled down my face. Kevin looked at me as I wiped one eye. I said the first thing that came to mind, “that is exactly what I expected to hear.” It was honest. For a while now, i’d had my suspicions. To have them confirmed…was hard, needed, but hard.

The week proceeding was painful, but oh so beautiful at the same time.

The story of how He took me from the diagnosis 2 weeks ago, to the point of excitement that I am at today, coming later. For now, I need to think about getting some sleep. 🙂

24 thoughts on “Limitless Search

  1. Yes, you do understand the waiting for diagnosis. *hugs*
    I just love the wonderful people that blogging has brought into my life!
    Thank you for being one of them!
    Love you.

    • Thank you Mere! Thank you for listening to my ramblings right at first and praying with me for His greater will.
      I echo your workds right back to you.
      Your presence in my life has made it so much more full.

    • Thanks Katie! You’ll love the next part. I’ve been given another vision of what this means in mu life, the confirmation I’ve gotten in that regards…oh it’s so exciting.

  2. He has truly blessed you my friend. It’s been an honor to witness this journey you are on. Stay the course…..

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  4. Proud of you for being brave to share your hard road with us, Amy! You bless me so…
    And God is so good! For providing the people you need for the journey. What a blessing!
    Will continue to pray for you, friend. To God be the glory for great things He’s going to do through you!

    • I’m thankful to say that you are one of those people that He’s blessed me with. I’ve quickly come to love you and your heart as well.

      Yes, to Him be the Glory. It all belongs to Him anyway! Thanks for stopping by friend.

  5. I love you, dear Amy! I am so blessed to be part of your journey and to watch you grow in your faith and trust. We know that God is so perfectly sovereign and that He has been planning *whatever is coming* all along. He has such great things in store for us, and how blessed we are to be part of it! Praying for you constantly and thanking HIM for connecting our spirits and our hearts at the perfect time! This is going to be so exciting!!!!

    • Katie! I still can’t believe how fast we connected. 🙂 You re right, He didn’t NEED us to complete His will, but He chose to use us to do so. That, in and of itself, is humbling.

  6. So interesting to read about someone starting to walk the same path that I’ve walked. I well remember sitting there after at the doctor walked out and thinking, “Well, okay…”

    Those verses are especially precious to me.

    • Even with having prior suspicions about it, I still walked out thinking…”well, okay…” followed quickly by the “where do I go from here”, “what does this mean for MY dreams, MY plans, MY future”, and then followed by, “Okay God, this is all you now, I can’t walk this path alone.” But I’m sure you get that. I would love, love, love to chat with you more on this. 🙂

  7. Hey! Sorry it took me so long to pop over and find out how your post went. It is awesome. And I love the verse 🙂 It is my absolute favorite – and I am so glad that it spoke to you too. XO during this time – I think God is going to use this in your heart a special way.

    • Thanks for popping in Kristen! It’s so good to have you. (Don’t you love how we greet people as though they’ve just walked into our house? I love it.) I know life is busy, especially with all you have going on, I’m just blessed you made the time to check it out over here. 🙂 I am believing, trusting that He will do just as you say and use it in a special way in my heart. Thanks again for the help!

  8. I love and am partially envious that you and Katie have become fast friends. (I say that because friendships are so hard for me personally.) I know her from the blog world and her writing is beautiful. I am glad she linked to you. I hope to pop in sometime. My sister has PCOS. It has been a long ride, but she has a little baby girl now. So keep trusting in Him. 🙂

    • I know the struggle you have when it comes to friends. I typically have a hard time getting close with someone quickly, which is why I firmly believe that it’s only because of Him that we’ve gotten as close as we have, He unites those together in ways that only He knows, and boy am I glad He brought her into my life. 🙂 Glad to have you! Please do stop back in!

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