Thank you so much for being patient these past few weeks! It’s been a whirlwind time.
How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, Having sorrow in my heart all the day? How long will my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O LORD my God; Enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death, And my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” And my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken. But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, Because He has dealt bountifully with me. Psalm 13:1-6
Oh, how this verse fits with all that’s been going on. Can I tell you the story? The whole story? With God’s line through this and all? Pretty please hang with me through this? It’s amazing to watch Him work his magic through this.
For the past two months I’ve felt the first few verses deep within my heart. Although, hadn’t really “seen” these verses until a friend gave them to me Saturday night. I know I’ve read them before, but I didn’t actually “see” them before.
You see, in February my benefits started up through work, before that, January contained a miscarriage and I hadn’t been able to get checked to make sure everything was in the clear there. So I set up two appointments. One for the (as my sister calls it) awkward doctor, and the other for a regular physician. Little did I know the roller coaster that I had jumped on. The OB ran blood tests, for a few different reasons she wanted to check some things out. She asked me to come back in 2 weeks for the results. Okay, cool.
Little did I know that those two weeks were going to be major attack by Satan. I have been
cursed blessed with an analytical mind. I think, re-think, and over-think everything, especially something big like this. So I began to prepare myself for the worst, like I typically do.
It’s about this time that He introduces me to a true kindred spirit. We were fast friends, which never happens, for either of us. When we first started chatting, we would have never expected what it has come to. We are miles apart physically, but couldn’t be closer together spiritually. I have already come to love her so.
Besides that friendship taking root, the two weeks between appointments was grueling. I was told by my regular physician that besides the extra weight, I was in perfect health…pending the results to the blood tests. Woo. So not only was I just waiting for the blood tests, those stinking tests had my “perfect” health (physically anyway) hanging with them too.
So that day comes. The hubs (he didn’t understand why I wanted him there, but gracefully came with me just because I asked) and I go to get the results. The doctor comes in the room, she said everything looked good (it would have been great had she stopped there) but with the irregularity, it looks like we’re looking into poly cystic ovarian syndrom (PCOS). She set up an ultra sound for the end of May to determine for sure.
But I don’t need the ultra sound to tell me it’s true. As soon as it was stated, my spirit testified to it’s validity. So while some think I’m jumping the gun, I can firmly believe that I’m really not. The ultrasound in May? I’m looking at it as the tool to tell me the level/severity of it.
The doctor walked out of the room and tears rolled down my face. Kevin looked at me as I wiped one eye. I said the first thing that came to mind, “that is exactly what I expected to hear.” It was honest. For a while now, i’d had my suspicions. To have them confirmed…was hard, needed, but hard.
The week proceeding was painful, but oh so beautiful at the same time.
The story of how He took me from the diagnosis 2 weeks ago, to the point of excitement that I am at today, coming later. For now, I need to think about getting some sleep. 🙂