February Awaits

Earlier today I was driving and suddenly an idea comes to mind…

I am so excited about this. I will be keeping a running list each day after I post. I am taking Lisa-Jo‘s concept of the 5 minute Friday and spreading it to everyday throughout February.

The Goal? To take five minutes and just write without worrying about if it’s just right or not.

I will be starting this tomorrow and running it through the entire month. I would love to have some of you come aboard and join me with this. If you’re interested, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I’ll shoot out the list of the topics for each day to you via e-mail. ūüôā

I’m pumped about this and I hope you’ll join me for this journey.

If you want to join this challenge, feel free to use this to add the button (I think it should work):

<a href=”www.belovedpursuit.com/february-awaits” target=”_blank”><img src=”http://i1211.photobucket.com/2012/01/31/albums/cc427/godsbeloved110/Blog%20Stuff/notepad-1-1.jpg&#8221; border=”0″ alt=”FiveMinuteFebruary”></a>

Blessings friends.

Day One: Go

Day Two: Yes

Day Three: Challenge

Day Four: No

Day Five:  Wait

Day Six: Impossible

Day Seven: Serve

Day Eight: Fruit

Day Nine: Accountable

Day Ten: Acceptance

Day Eleven: Safety

Day Twelve: Books

Day Thirteen: Friendship

Day Fourteen: Marriage

Day Fifteen: Family

Day Sixteen: Health

Day Seventeen: Commitment

Day Eighteen: Sacrifice

Day Nineteen: No post

  Day Twenty: Submission

Day Twenty-One: Pain

Day Twenty-Two: Loss

Day Twenty-Three: Doubt

Day Twenty-Four: Security

Day Twenty-Five: Grace

Day Twenty-Six: Faith

Day Twenty-Seven: Hope

Day Twenty-Eight: Crave

Day Twenty-Nine: No Post

Chatting

So, on Saturday night I was talking with my mom. My mentor and I are reading through Captivating¬†and since it’s mom’s favorite¬†book, we were talking about it. If you haven’t read it, you might or might not understand (depending on your own experiences). We were talking about the depictions used of a little girl twirling around wearing a pretty dress/tutu while being delighted in by those around her, primarily her father. I expressed my frustration with these depictions because I haven’t ever dreamed of that nor have I felt like that. My mom said she could relate to them because she had always wanted¬†to be seen like that. Without missing a beat I said, “I just wanted to be¬†seen.”

I have been thinking about this a great deal today. Never have any truer words flown out of my heart. Growing up, I was the fourth of five. The order went girl, girl, boy, girl, girl. So the “middle child syndrome” didn’t fall on the third because of him being the only¬†boy in the family. Naturally, that syndrome fell onto me. Not only did that get moved to me, but I was the quietest of the four girls. Meaning, I often would get overlooked because I was the smallest and the least vocal.

Then I started to think about this in my perspective of God. I find myself struggling with the fact that since I “fell through the cracks”, as I’ve been told, with my parents, my heart has a heard time believing that it won’t¬†happen with God who has billions¬†of children. Although in my mind I know¬†that He loves me AND¬†that He knows me better than I know myself, I can’t get my heart to believe it.

Lately, I’ve been praying a dangerous prayer. I’ve been praying for my head knowledge to become a heart knowledge. Not only that but to allow it to turn into a natural, genuine love flow out of that new understanding. I started praying that about 2.5 weeks ago. I can tell you, I’ve been through the wringer the past few weeks. I have no doubt that He’s allowed certain situations to happen to allow that prayer to begin being answered. It is an answer that will take a while to sink in. I know this because my stubborn¬†human mind doesn’t like to change those sorts of things very quickly.

I’m sure this is just a few of many revelations that I’ll have on the journey to better understanding what the answer to this prayer will look like for me, my life and my relationships. So stay tuned.

Isn’t it amazing what one conversation can spur on?

CMA #2

It’s that time again friends. Time for another Count Me Accountable Thursday over at Must Love God. If you missed what the idea behind this. Several of us who are a part of the Must Love God writing family, had the struggle with living a healthy life in all areas. After each of us sharing our struggles, we wanted to open it up for our readers to take part in as well. If you missed us last week, you can read mine here and you can read the MLG post here.

Now, to start my post for the week. I weighed myself today and I was down to 182. Not as much as I was hoping for, but looking back at the week, have some things to change in order to help. Progress is progress and I’ll take progress. My goals…Eat Clean, Move More, and refresh daily.

Eat Clean: This has been my hardest struggle this week. I have successfully stayed away from bread and grains. I have done pretty well with kicking the pop, with only having a small amount on Sunday and none other this week. My area of struggle right now is with the sugary-yummy-but-not-so-good-for-healthy-living types of food. I think my body is trying to make up for the sugar it would usually get from the amount of pop I would drink so it’s starting to crave some other form of sweets.

This week: I plan to cut back (not out…yet) on the sugary foods and think more about am I eating this for nutritional value or to satisfy a craving? I am still going forward without eating bread and grains. I will still push forward on the choosing water over pop or sugary drinks. I will be more conscious of the other foods I’m eating and whether I’m eating them for my benefit or just to eat something. Especially since I know that healthy foods can curve the appetite for the sweets, if I choose the right ones.

Move More: This one has been okay for me. It’s hard to rate for sure. While I had a couple more active days, I also had a couple days where besides my typical walking, I didn’t do much.

This week: I will be looking into getting a gym membership at Anytime Fitness. While my school has a gym that I could use, the hours aren’t real favorable to incorporate into my schedule. I go to check them out on Saturday. I cannot be more excited. My mom and my sister go to Anytime and they love it.

Refresh Daily: I have been doing fairly well in this area, but would like to see more improvement. Within the next week, one routines will be ending. 31 days to pray was an amazing experience. I’m considering doing it every month that has 31 days. I think it would be amazing to see what God will do over the course of a year of my conscious praying for him.

This week: I plan to finish on a positive note. Not just finishing the prayer challenge, but catching up in my Paul study as well. I am also challenging myself to getting up around 7-7:30 to get my bible study out of the way.

On another note:

I was reading some of my blogs the other day, and this quote jumped out to me:

“Instead of being the beloved, I feel more like the doloved”Emily Freeman

This one struck straight to the heart. I so want to get to the point where I can just be loved instead of feeling that I need to do¬†in order to have such love. It doesn’t matter who’s love it is, I tend to fall into the earning side of it, rather then realizing that if I have to do¬†to have that love, is it really a love that I want in my life. I have been thinking a lot about this quote the past day or two. There may be more on this later.

How was your week?

Multitudes #36-65

It’s been far, Far, FAR too long since I’ve taken part in the Multitudes on Mondays with my fellow bloggers. We all link up with Ann. This concept is based off of her book One Thousand Gifts. While I have not read it yet, I feel the need to begin to incorporate this into my life. If you need a refresher, you can check out my last post on this here.

As I sit looking back at a hectic couple of weeks, it only felt appropriate to list the blessings I’ve been seeing in my life. Here are a list of some of them:

36. A God who’s strength is immeasurable
37. A husband who is extremely understanding
38. New seasons coming and old ones going
39. His continual faithfulness
40. Progress
41. Grace
42. Opportunities to volunteer
43. Quality time
44. Deep, meaningful conversations
45. A best friend who gets it
a. And more importantly gets me
46. Journaling prayers
47. My prayer warriors
48. Count me Accountable
49. Must Love God
50. Friends who challenge me to become a better me
51. The ability to give love
52. The ability to feel love
53. Healing
54. The opportunity to know the Ultimate Healer
55. Trials in life that make us stronger and better understanding of the One who created us.
56. Bonding with others better through the trials
57. A family who loves and supports me
58. A church family who is always willing to lend an ear
59. Cloudy days that I can use to just chill and recover
60. My Kindle
61. Fresh, new starts
62. A community of bloggers who really care about each other and their readers.
63. My first post this month at Must Love God
64. Finding peace through the storm
65. Tapping into his immeasurable strength.

Counting blessings through the storms of life. I have a feeling that this is going to become key to my own growth, mental and spiritual health.

Pursuit of Peace

Today I reached out to a former friend. Our friendship ended on an extremely sour note. As with most relational ends, we both had a part to play. In my attempt, I asked if we could sit down and talk through the way things went down between the two of us. While she is willing to get together, she is refusing to talk through the way our friendship ended.

We go to the same church and have several reasons for wanting to get to the point of at least being able to have small talk with her. While I’ve forgiven the hurts, pain, ect. that the friendship caused, I am having a hard time just picking up and moving on. I still have some deep wounds, scars and scabs that I feel are only going to go away if she and I can sit down like adults and talk through these issues.

We, as Christ-followers, are called to:

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with every one.”¬†Romans 12:18

I’m having trouble figuring out what how to best heal from these scars, I’ve been praying and continue to pray for the wounds to be healed from them, but am having a hard time due to a lack of closure with the issues.

The way it looks now, I have 3 options on how to go on from here.¬†Option 1: Just do as she said, let the past rest in the past and not deal with any lingering feelings or scars. Option 2:¬†Journal through all the scars and such. Option 3:¬†Just continue to avoid her and steer clear of events that we’ll both be at and praying that eventually she’ll be willing to at least talk about things.

The problem being, I don’t like any of these options. I’d rather be able to sit down and talk these things through. Since that doesn’t seem like it’s going to be possible, I’m trying to figure out the next best one.

While it’s not a chipper way to start off the week…this is the area I’m struggling the most in at this point. I’d really love advice or other ideas (more brains stirring the pot can¬†be helpful with this).

Count Me Accountable

Last week, I joined a friend in posting to get real about living a healthy life.Not only are we both doing this, her post had such an impact and inspired so many that there is now going to be a weekly link-up over at Must Love God (which if you haven’t checked it out yet, you really should. Some amazing stuff going on for God.)

Here we are a week later and boy did last week try to kick my tail. Between personal issues going on, a client having health problems and being in the hospital, and outside stress I could have easily fell. Satan was attacking me hard this week, but God’s strength has proven to be stronger (like I was surprised).

Last week, I weighed in at 190. I also challenged myself to Eat Clean. Move more. Refresh Daily. I can honestly say I have made some progress in each of these areas. This week, I am weighing in at 184! I am so excited. My first break under 185 in several years.

Here’s the break down:

Eating Clean–This is going to be a stair step for me, I think. Slowly changing my eating habits and re-wiring my taste buds and cravings. Step one started on the 10th. No bread or grain…period. Once I get used to this, I’m going to cut out Pop and sugary drinks. After a week or two of that, I’ll cut out candy and sugary snacks, replacing them with healthier more natural sweet choices. Then after that I’ll cut out red meat, it typically doesn’t settle right in my stomach anyway. So, hopefully, by my anniversary in April, I will have a whole new outlook on my eating. Using it to stay nourished rather than fill a void that it will never be able to fill.

Move More–This has probably been my area of least progress. While I have played catch with one of my clients more (and believe me, I am up and moving when we do that…since he always throws it away from where I’m standing) I have yet to get into a workout routine, mainly because the personal issues thrown at me required rest and relaxation. Hopefully in the next week or two I will get started with that.

Refresh Daily–This has been essential for me this week. Had it not been for making time with Him a priority each day, I would have drowned in the weight of the attacks this week. While I have stayed up to date with most of my devotionals, I have also fallen behind in a few, but I am determined to catch up this weekend and stay caught up from here on out. I have learned that this is the only way to ensure that I’ll have what I need for the curve balls each day throws at me.

Little by little, I am making progress. It’s more about a life change and taking better care of the temple that He’s entrusted to me. I have fallen into some bad habits, they took time to get into, I’m sure they’ll take just as much, if not more time to get out of. After all, a life change is about baby steps right?

Will you join us? We’d love to have you.

Messages from God

Yesterday, God not only showed me how limitless has looked in my life these past few weeks, but not only that, He began to heal my soul from a hard week. While I was driving three songs came on the radio.

I truly believe that this is to show me that He will always be there. He knows all thing and everything He does in and through my life is to bring about good. Even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time, it will¬†get better. My favorite part of this song is “You are God, You are God
Of all else I’m letting go”. I’m letting go of all my wants, desires, fears, hopes, dreams, giving them into His hands because I believe¬†that He has a plan more extraordinary then I can even plan.

This song stood to remind me that it’s okay to come undone in His presence. He already knows what I need, so breaking myself to Him is the safest place to be. My favorite line from this song is: “It‚Äôs true what they say,¬†Love must be blind,¬†It‚Äôs why You‚Äôre still standing by this sinner‚Äôs side”. It still amazes me that He remains faithful even when I am not.

This song reminded me that this is not my home, this is not the place where I belong. Again, no matter my hopes and dreams, all that really matters is who I reflect and where I call home in my heart. My favorite verse is this: “So when the walls come falling down on me and when im lost in the current of a raging sea i have this blessed assurance holding me.” I am confident of this, the fact that He’s holding me through everything.

Breathe in deep. Breathe out slowly. Can you feel the calm rushing in? The assurance and healing these songs can bring to any situation. I know my soul was refreshed when I heard these.