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Painfully Beautiful

At one point in time or another each of us has probably heard the phrase “beauty from ashes”. Most often you’ll hear this from someone who has found the beauty in a rough time, or God has pulled them from rock bottom and set them in a higher, more beautiful place then they were before. It like finding yourself seeing the beauty in all the things around you even though your situation is horrible. Then there are times when everything is peachy and you don’t find yourself in the “ashes”. Normally, it’s harder to find the beauty in those times, at least in my experience.

Last week, I posted on a friend‘s blog about surrender being  completely dependent upon trust. If you’ve read my writing for any amount of time, I’m sure you know that trust of any sort, toward anyone, comes extremely hard for me.

Worship this morning was painfully beautiful for me. I know that seems like an oxymoron, but if you’re like me, when God moves it is just that. It’s painful yet beautiful at the same time.

Isn’t it usually?:

the most painful things turn into the most beautiful

the hardest things to start are the easiest to keep going

the most feared tasks become the most loved

the worst of all trials turn into the biggest blessings

So, why then are we so terrified fearful to take the next step if we can’t see the whole picture? To completely surrender because we’re scared to trust? To love without abandon those who may not have someone else to love them?

Perhaps, it’s because we’ve been burned once and we’re afraid that if we did it, then our entire being will get scorched. Maybe, [more realistically for me] it’s because we’re scared that the initial pain won’t be worth the final result.

When I was sitting in church today, this song was playing and I find myself on my knees, completely overwhelmed. It was here that I got my first taste of surrender. It was extremely painful to completely surrender, but when I looked past the pain I could see and feel something beautiful coming.

I may have to wait to see the finished concept of beauty, but I am confident that if I can turn my life into a constant surrender (second-by-second, minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, day-by-day, week-by-week, month-by-month, year-by-year) I am confident that a little more of the beauty with each passing trial until, one day, in Heaven, I’ll be able to see the entire picture, the beauty of everything coming together.

So to describe today I’m going to use two words that may seem like an oxymoron, but are truly something amazing when put together. My phrase for today [and hopefully the description of my life] is:

Painfully Beautiful

Is there a phrase that may seem odd to others that fits your situation, your day, your year or even your life?

7 thoughts on “Painfully Beautiful

  1. Oh my word – you KNOW that I get “painfully beautiful.”

    That song is awesome. .. I have never heard it before.

    Worship today was painfully beautiful for me as well… I almost fell apart, which is a problem… because I was leading it.
    Haha. 🙂

    • I DID fall apart. Part of me is glad our sanctuary is dark so no one can see the sobbings snotty mess I am most weeks.

      I feel like we’re twins most days because of the way we’re able to relate to each others situations and lessons.

      PS we’re less than 3 weeks out from the launch of imustlovegod!!!!

      • I know!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
        And yes on the twin thing. Except for the age difference. Ha! 🙂

        So…. Grace for the good girl.
        CHapter ten is HUGE.
        I think I am going to just do chapter ten.
        It is really…. a lot to think about. What about you?

  2. Pingback: Grace for the Good Girl Chapter 10 « belovedpursuit

  3. Excellent post, Amy. And as I’m sure you can guess, I totally get “painfully beautiful”. Isaiah 62 has become one of the Scriptures most precious to me. In fact, I don’t even think I ever really saw true beauty until I experienced true pain (not that I’m done with the pain part of life–OR the beauty.:))

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