5 Minute Friday: STILL

The challenge: To write, just write, no proofreading or correcting.
The purpose: To allow God to speak without us getting in the way.
The idea: Came from her
The topic: Still


Still…

GO


Still, I am not decided on what I want to do with my life. I’ve been at my current job for almost 4 months now, while I love it, I still feel like there’s something lacking. This, this is truly why I haven’t gone back to school yet. After being so sure for so long that this was what I wanted to do some day, I am now beginning to wonder. I have half a dozen ideas on my mind of what I could go to school for, but none certain.


Still, I hope and pray that one day, we will be stable enough for kids. I know we may be young, but some days I feel the desire to have little ones a little bigger than I am able to bear. Maybe it’s because many of my friends have kids of their own and part of me feels like we’re falling behind.


Then there’s the other question, why am I still comparing the steps I make in my life to those my friends make in theirs. We’re different people, yet part of me feels entitled to be able to make the same steps they did.


It’s still in His timing, I know this. That’s the hardest thing for my head to wrap around. His timing. Then and now. Now and forever. Still His timing.


STOP


I know it’s not long, but it’s what came to mind. I hope you take the challenge and if/when you do, I would love to hear what you’re 5 minutes comes out to be.

Have a blessed weekend all.

Beloved

Recently, I’ve been thinking of the word beloved. Mainly because that is exactly what my name means. Every definition I’ve read reads: greatly loved and dear to the heart. That’s all well and good, but what does it mean to be someone’s beloved. More importantly, what does it mean to be God’s beloved. To figure this out, I turned to the very Words of God to see what he says about this. 


God says that his beloved can dwell in security because of He will shield me from the day-to-day trials. (Deut. 33:12) 


For me, security is such a fickle thing. Something I struggle with consistently is being secure in who I am and who He made me to be. He has been gracious enough to allow me to discover some of the roots of my insecurity. It is still something that is a struggle day in and day out, but with His help, little by little, it is getting better.


Being God’s beloved is knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that nothing you do, say, think, or feel will change the fact that we are adored by our Father in Heaven. It’s more than just being loved though, it’s being accepted. He has adopted each of us as his own child. Picture how much a parent loves his child and multiply it times a million, and that is how our Father looks at us. 


If we would actually grasp how much he loves us, we would crumble at the weight of the love and acceptance. His love for us is so deep, so wide, so long, and so far that it isn’t fathomable. 


My Favorite song describing God’s love for us is called “Your Love Is Deep“. The chorus says: “Your love is deeper than my view of grace; Higher than this wordly place; Longer than this road i travel; Wider than the gap you’ve filled.”


How refreshing is it to know that these words are true. Grace as I see it, runs forever, it’s a never ending stream, yet His love for us runs deeper than that. His love for us runs deeper than the deepest well we know. It runs to the core of who He is.


His love runs from the heavens down to earth, how far from the earth is the heavens? No one will know until they reside there. I’d imagine it’s higher than our imaginations can even begin to fathom. I’m sure it runs higher than the distance between the earth and the sun, He assures us of that.


His love goes longer than the distance we will go in this life. If we could measure God’s love, I have a feeling we’d see it wrap completely around the world so many times we’d lose track of just how many times it’s gone. His love is indeed long. 


It’s long enough to close the gap between Him, being most holy, and us, being humans who are unworthy of his love. The gap between God and His creation is immense, yet His love has filled that gap.


All this to say that, even though your name may not mean beloved, you are still His beloved. He loves you and made you the way you are. Take comfort in the fact that you are adored by your Father, even when it seems you aren’t by anyone else.


What does being His beloved, mean to you?



Out of Focus?

Last night I lay in bed. Heart heavy. Hurting because the one I wanted to see so badly wasn’t there with me. Could have been, but wasn’t.

As I lay there, I’m crying out, “Why does it affect me this way when I don’t see him? Why does it hurt so badly? Why does it feel like my heart is about to implode when I don’t get the time that I feel is needed? Why? Why? Why?” I lay there, restless, sobbing, hurting, sulking, pouting, throwing a temper tantrum, ect.

In the middle of it, I hear a calm, powerful, stern yet comforting. “Now you know how I feel when you say you’re gonna spend time with Me, but get distracted by other things.” Ouch!

Very few times have I heard an audible voice like that. Twice (including this). Both times, it has been something huge. Something life-changing. Goal oriented. Something very practical. Something tangible.

I find it amazing how, in the midst of angst and choas, God will swoop in like that. Often times, He’ll turn our hurts and healings, pain and recovery, sorrows and joys, wins and losses, into a task, a life-style change, a goal for us to reach that is very tangible. Not only will he make it tangible, but if we ask Him, and seek Him, He will help us reach that goal.

I wish I could say that when I heard that statement, I immediately flipped my Bible out and started to read. If I’m honest, though, I tried. For all of two seconds. I tried. I kept allowing myself get distracted by the fact that I didn’t get what I wanted when I wanted. I didn’t get my way.

So often we allow ourselves to get swept up in the busyness of life that we forget to seek Life that is out of this world. We go about on our own strength and understanding, rather than preparing myself at the start of my day seeking the Strength and Wisdom I need for the day.

As I go about my days, I pray He continues to reveal Himself to me like He did last night. No matter how painful, I know that His directions will do nothing but help me thrive, to be a better vessel for him.

This one sentence, I hope will change my perspective on how I go about my day. I plan to remind myself to equip my heart, soul, mind, body, emotions with Him. I strive to keep my perspective and focus on my Father. I hope you’ll join me.

I hope you’ll take a few minutes to listen to this song by Audrey Assad. It’s called Show Me:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9b5Snkw18Lg&feature=relmfu
Lyrics to the song as you listen: