RTW: Wholeness

Pursuing it with our whole being. This craving. This journey. This race. It’s all we live for. It’s what we’ve come to desire more than anything. It has become our entire focus. It is what drives us day in and day out. We just want to be whole.

If there’s one thing that many, if not all of us want out of this life it is having a sense of wholeness. Unfortunately, I believe with all that I am, the wholeness that we seek, will not happen on this side of Heaven. I do believe that God will complete the work He has started in us because of this promise in Philippians 1:6:

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

So I ask this. In what do we seek wholeness? Perhaps it’s our jobs. Maybe it’s our family. Could it be we look for it in our material/monetary worth and/or security? How about in our circle of friends? Our position in the church? Why is it we seem to look for it in every place besides the one place that it can be found. In the arms of our creator. 

So I encourage you to ask yourself, are there places I run to thinking l will be able to find the wholeness I so deeply desire? What do I need to concentrate on when I am feeling broken, beat down, or anything besides completely whole?

So friends, will you join me in running toward the arms of our Father? To run to Him to find our completeness? Run into His arms and discover what it finally means to be whole?

RTW: Lifetime

I wake up today…well for the day…to celebrate. You see, it’s been four years since I vowed my life to the man I love. It’s been for years since I said forever and always. Four years ago I officially became Mrs. Kevin McCollister. This was us four years ago:

It’s been quite a journey over the past four years. We’ve laughed a lot. We’ve had our struggles and trials. Many of them being in the last 12-16 months. If I could go back in time, I’d do it all again. Including all the bad times because it has just made us stronger and given us perspective in the good times. The end of last year, our lives changed forever. This is the last picture of us as a childless couple in december:

The next day, we met our little boy. Our joy in life. If it hadn’t been for all those ups and downs we’ve experienced, I’m sure that we wouldn’t be where we are now and I know that we wouldn’t have him:

In four years we went from newlyweds to new parents. With hills along the way. I can honestly say, I would not change a thing.

I love you Kevin!
I love the life we have together.
I love watching you with our little Andrew.

As you said this morning:
That was a quick four years. Heres to many more…

So friends. With all the brokenness in this world. In marriages. In families. I am running to honor God in this lifetime. To  keep my marriage and family whole. I’m running to spend a lifetime with my guys. These two and, God willing, another kiddo…maybe two. As well as being the best daughter, sister and friend that I can be. To live my lifetime glorifying God in all I do. With every choice I make. With every milestone we meet.

RTW: Perfection

As the days tick on. I want to make this Running Towards What concept into a series. How long this series will last? I don’t know. How many topics we’ll end up covering? I can’t say. All I know is the more thought I give to what I see myself and those I care about running toward, the more posts that come to mind.

As I reflected on my last post, I couldn’t help but think, how many times do I chase after this worldly ideal of perfection. Running towards the need to always do the right thing, the exact right way. Striving to be the perfect example of a Christian.  Longing for the perfect body. Working toward the perfect family. Driving for what we see as the American dream, because in our minds, that is the perfect life.

Failing to remember that sometimes the best step toward perfection is to admit that we are not and allow the One who is to step into those places.

However, in those times when we’re feeling less than perfect, or wishing that everything was picture perfect is when we need to grasp onto Philippians 1:6:

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

We have the guarantee that one day, probably on the other side of eternity, all this imperfection will become complete. One day, those of us whose faith is in Christ will see perfection. That is a promise that we can cling to.

Maybe, if I would be running toward a closer, more intimate relationship with my Creator who is truly perfect, then will I be able to even get a step closer to perfection. Not perfection as we see it here on earth, but perfection in an eternal sense. A sprint into the arms of Christ that I may experience even a glimpse of what wholeness can actually look like.

If there’s any one topic that may fit in here, feel free to share your ideas with me.

Running towards what?

It’s nearing running season. A time when many begin to work on themselves. They want to get healthier, to train themselves to be stronger, to push themselves, to see exactly what their body can handle. My question is this. What are we running for? Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually.

This season, I, like many of you, have goals to get in shape. I have even considered taking up running as a way to achieve that goal. But then I started thinking…what is it I’m running towards. In every area of my life?

Physically
I want to start running to strengthen my entire body. To strengthen my core. To tone my legs. I want to train my body to run in hopes that it will become something that I love to do. Something that will clear my head. Something that allows me to connect with my Creator.

Emotionally
I am running toward completion. I’m running to gain complete control over my emotional state. Running to not allow them to control my mind, my mood, my attitude, or my perspective on life. With things coming up, this is going to be easier said then done.

Mentally
I’m running toward trust. Trusting God with all that may come. I’m running toward a clearer thought pattern. I’m running to learn to decipher the lies and cling to the truth. In running to declutter my mind in efforts to better hear the voice of my savior.

Spiritually
I’m running to contentment. I’m running to appreciate all that He has given me. I’m running to complete, utter, undeniable reliance on the One who carries me. I’m running into His shelter. I’m running toward an intimacy that I’ve never known before. I’m running toward a life of unabashed surrender. I’m running to complete trust and dependence on the Creator of all things.

How am I going to get to where I want to be? By keeping my eye on the prize. How long is this going to take? That I can’t say. For some it will be a short sprint. For others, a marathon. The one thing I do know is this:

when I reach each of these victories, it will be a sweet, sweet thing.

So I ask you today friend, if you are COMPLETELY honest with yourself, what is it you are running towards?

When all you need…

…is a get away. But can’t seem to find one. What is one to do?

This is the very topic I’m talking about over at Must Love God today.

Won’t you join me?

Join me here today

How are we doing? {CMA}

Last week, I posted about striving to be content in the circumstances I am in. As Satan loves to do, that is the area he’s slammed into that very area of my life. I’d love to be able to say I’ve been able to combat his attacks successfully, but I haven’t.

I have tried to steer my thoughts in directions that wouldn’t lead to a breakdown, but if I’m honest, I’ve broken down at least 3 times this week. Almost all of them surrounding work in general. That I have to work. The stress I get from my current position. Not liking the shift I’m working. Dreams that I have, that need to be placed on hold for a while. I could go on and on.

I have been able to slow down some. Enjoy the few mornings that Andrew is actually awake before I have to leave for work. I have made some time together with Kevin, not daily, but definitely over the weekend. As well as finding the time to physically rest on days following sleepless nights.

So, this week, I am continuing on this challenge for myself. While doing so, I will be taking the time to stop and pray when I feel overwhelmed. Seek for peace in His presence. Look for His direction and reassurances that I am on the right path.

Each morning, I will work towards living in the moment. To loving the life I have been given. To seeking shelter in the safest Place I can find. Writing out my thoughts, feelings, emotions to get them down and not allow them to run me down.

So friend, how are you doing on the goals and dreams you have for your life? I’d love to hear your heart as well.

Contentment {CMA}

Our weekly Count Me Accountable link up is all about living a healthier life. Lately, I’ve set out with some great goals, written with determination, at least one each week. All with the hope of getting back on track. To living a healthier life. To improving myself for the benefit of myself. For the benefit of my husband. For the benefit of my son. For the benefit of every person I love.

Then it dawned on me this week. Rather He revealed to me. Before I can build upon my life to improve it, I need to be happy with my life. I need to rediscover myself. I need to learn to be content with who I am. To find peace within the situation I am in. To find the joy of being where I am at. To living in the moment. Without worries of what I should be doing. Where I should be heading. How I want to look. The size I want to be. And so on.

So my goal is to allow life to slow down  a little. To enjoy each and every phase my son is in without wondering when the sleep will come. Without desiring him to be able to do this or that. I want to enjoy this time with my family. To make and cherish the time with Kevin. To make time with him a priority over anything else that longs to take it.

Friends, it’s time. It’s time for me to live and love this life. Rather than trying to make it better. After all, I need to be happy with where I am. Before, when I was improving myself it was because I was happy. Because I was content. Because I was secure in who I was, where I was, despite all the chaos that was going on around me.

Now, with the challenges of being a first time mom, with all the change that comes with a new job for Kevin, plus the factor of not liking the fact that we work different shifts, I’m in the place I want to be. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually.

I love my family and I want to be all there when I’m with them. So that’s the place I’m going to start. After all, who wouldn’t want to spend as much time with these guys as possible.

Today marks…

Three months since our little man was born. I’m absolutely enjoying being a mom. As each day goes by I’m falling harder and harder for our son. I love when he “holds my hand” (aka finger) while he’s sucking down a bottle. The way he smiles when I attack his cheeks with kisses. How he talks to his papa almost every time he sees him. When he laughs with daddy. How he giggles and gets super excited while playing on his play mat.

I love all of this. But it’s getting harder and harder. Harder and harder to say goodbye to go to work. Harder and harder to enjoy working when in the depths of my heart I want to be with him more. To see each step of his progress firsthand.

I believe that one day the need for me to work out of the house full time will come to an end. That one day the longing I have to be a mom who’s with her child(ren) more than she is away from them. That one day, even if I can’t be a full time SAHM, I will be able to go to something part time. Or better yet, something I can do from home.

I love that little guy and I am confident that those who have him while I work love him as well. And I’m sure that he enjoys his time with them as much as they enjoy theirs with him. There’s still that ache within. The age that draws me to be at home with him.

Soon it will be time to look. Look into something that has more favorable hours. With the start of a good job for the hubs this week, I know I need to find something that will coordinate well with his job.

The other day, talking to a friend who has a daughter that is 4 days older than little man, I made an observation. Our little ones are a quarter of the way through their first year. It made it seem so long. Yet so short at the same time.

A quarter of a year. It’s so hard to believe. That short amount of time has changed our lives forever. That amount of time has brought closeness to relationships that had long since been strained.

In three months dreams have intensified. In three months priorities have changed. In three months life has reshape. In three months you have changed in many ways. In three months growth from everyone around has skyrocketed.

It’s only been three months. A quarter of a year. A tiny fraction of time. In which great things have been started.

Saturday sentiment

Saturdays are my days to relax. The day to spend some time with those I love most. Today I reflect on the past couple weeks.

They’ve been hard. For reasons I really can’t identify. Maybe it’s the lack of consistent sleep finally catching up with me. Maybe it’s the waiting for a new page to turn for us (which is happening on Monday). Maybe it’s the craziness that’s going on at work.

Honestly, I’m almost certain it’s all of these things at the same time that’s seemed to have brought a cloud of smog around me.

So if it continues to be quiet around here, just know it’s because I’m still trying to figure out what my new normal is. Trying to figure out how to re-balance everything so that I have the most to give to everyone I encounter-whether in person or here online.

I will be trying to establish at least a weekly post but thank you for your grace if it takes some time to get into that groove.

Focus: H2O {CMA}

Here we are for another beloved count me accountable post. I’ll be linking up over with the fantastic ladies at Must Love God. We’d love to have you.

If you couldn’t tell, this post is all about water. Not just physical water but spiritual water as well.

My goal is to drink at least 2, if not 3 of these bottles a day BEFORE drinking anything else. I do this in hopes of limiting the amount of calories I drink. I want to focus on changing this habit first because I believe it is the best foundation to have. If I am able to keep myself from drinking junk then it will make it easier to keep myself from eating junk later on.

Just like physical water is the foundation of physical life. There is a spiritual water that I believe to be the foundation of a healthy spiritual life.

What is this spiritual water? The Word that was given to us straight from God. Without “drinking” enough of this water each day, it is extremely hard to maintain a healthy, vibrant, growing relationship with God.

So, just as I’m striving to incorporate more physical water into my daily life, I will also be striving to incorporate more spiritual water into my daily life.

what are your goals to become a more balanced, more healthy person this week?